There are some terms in the mental health community that are being tossed around flippantly to the point that they’re now terms of mockery. For example, the word “self care.” I feel like on a lot of websites self care is synonymous with “treat yo’self.” Take a bubble bath, buy some stuff at the store, take a vacation, binge watch a TV show on Netflix and so on. I’m not trying to say these things can’t be included in self care. But self care is not a complete free-for-all. It’s not just about having fun, blowing money, wasting time, and trying to ignore your problems.

In fact, self care is the exact opposite. Self care is noticing that there are things in your life causing stress or that are contributing to your mental illness and taking action to minimize their effect.

Self care is not selfish. It’s necessary. You can’t give service to others if you’re exhausted, burnt out, and don’t feel well. Heavenly Father wants us to serve, but He doesn’t want us to run ourselves into the ground.

Self care looks different from person to person. Your own self care tactics and routines will also change over the years as you improve yourself and new stressors come into your life. Here’s an example of my current self care focuses:

1. Taking my medication
I’m on an antidepressant and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I still have weeks where I feel low, but I’m able to bounce back much quicker than before. I don’t live in a pit of despair anymore. Because of my medication I feel a lot more mentally and emotionally stable than I have in my entire life. It can be a pain to remember to take my medication every day, but I do it because I know that it’s going to help me.

2. Hygiene
I personally feel like I don’t truly get my day started if I don’t shower. On the days where I just want to stay at home and not do much of anything, I always get myself to at least shower and get out of my pajamas. When I do that it gives me the motivation to do little things around the house, like unloading the dishwasher or picking up in my room for a few minutes. Being clean and having good hygiene makes me feel good physically, mentally, and emotionally.

3. Cleaning
Let’s be honest – not very many people get a super big kick out of doing dishes, laundry, and sweeping. I have noticed, though, that when I have a clean home I don’t have as much of a cluttered mind. There’s nothing better than coming home from work and having a clean floor and bed in my room. It’s nice when the dining room table is clear from stuff, when the sink isn’t piled high with dishes, and when the garbage isn’t overflowing. The long-term affects of cleaning your home works wonder on your mental health.

4. Reading
Reading is my favorite pastime and it’s how I de-stress. I have a goal to read 30 minutes a day, which I’m not perfect at hitting, but I try. It’s important for me to disengage from my phone/social media so I can crack open a book (or my eReader) and learn something new or get lost in a fantasy world.

5. Journaling
I’m a writer by nature, so getting my thoughts down on paper really help me out. There are so many benefits to journaling! Not only are journals a great way to vent and sort out your thoughts, but they hold your memories and progress. They can be a huge asset to not only you but your posterity. I try to journal for 30 minutes a day but, again, I’m not perfect at that.

6. Spirituality
Being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS or Momon), spirituality is very important to me. This means that I like to pray and read my scriptures in order to become close to my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ. There are other things I can do, too, like going to the temple and church. Reading my scriptures and praying a habits that I’ve fallen out of, but I am determined to start doing them again. When I feel close to God and Christ, there’s a lot more peace in my life.

7. Finances
Yes, finances are a form of self care for me. When I’m on top of my finances, have a budget, and know where my money is going, a lot of stress in my life goes away. There’s nothing wrong with having spending money and buying treats every so often, but blowing through my money and buying without any thought of what I’m doing makes me feel terrible. Being on top of my finances gives me peace of mind and confidence.

8. Food and Hydration
I haven’t been the greatest at feeding myself lately. It’s really sad. When I eat well-balanced meals and take the time to actually feed myself properly instead of drinking only a glass of milk, I feel so much happier and I have more energy. Staying hydrated is critical, too, especially since I live in a desert. Last week I had to leave work early because I was sick from exhaustion and dehydration. I felt miserable.

9. Staying Organized
Being disorganized is terrible. I can never find things, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, when deadlines are, etc. I love having a planner and a place where I can write my to-dos. When I’m organized I’m less stressed and have a plan for things I need to get done. It helps me to be a lot more productive.

That’s what self care looks like for me. I’m not perfect with all of those nine points, but when I try my best my life is incredibly less stressed and I’m content. I’m able to focus more on what matters in my life. One huge bonus is that I stop comparing myself to others. When I focus on my life and how I can better improve myself and offer service, I stop caring about what others think of me. That in and of itself really helps my mentality.

What do you do to take care of your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual state?