A little over a year ago, I tried desperately to find an apartment.

I looked at apartment complexes in my local area. I crunched the numbers several times before I realized I could not afford an apartment on my own. Then I made a sign advertising for roommates – with the cost of the apartments I was looking at meticulously divided and laid out. I posted this ad on my church’s Facebook page and at the Institute building. I got nothing except for a bunch of useless “likes” on the Facebook page.

When I became even more desperate I started looking, again, at how much it would cost me to rent an apartment by myself. I literally started thinking, “How little food can I live off of so I can afford this?”

I even prayed for help and guidance. The fact that nothing was coming up frustrated me beyond belief. I was always taught that if we prayed and asked for help then did our part by working on the problem as much as we could, God would bless us. But nothing was working.

Now, a year later, I’ve moved into an apartment with a roommate from my church.

I couldn’t be happier or more content.

But the road here was necessary – one I’m so thankful I traveled.

Last year I was not in a place where I could have lived in an apartment. For one thing, I wasn’t financially ready. Not only did I have some debt I couldn’t get down, my paycheck was so meager that I couldn’t afford an apartment. My depression was crippling and I needed help with it. I needed to wait to have the best outcome possible.

In July of last year my Relief Society president found out about a family renting out one of the rooms in their home. She notified me, I got in touch with the wife, looked at the room, and that day made plans to move in the first week on August. I lived with that blessed, wonderful family for ten months. It was exactly what I needed.

While living in that home, I attended a personal finance class hosted by my church. A lot of the finance information I already knew, but I gained some valuable insights that helped me get my finances in order. I realized that I was doing myself a disservice of paying my bills first and then trying to save for my emergency fund. I needed to start doing the reverse. It took a lot of faith, but I did it and the blessings came. I even started saving up for a retirement fund, which was something I had never thought about before.

I also did the vast majority of counseling for my depression while living in that home. My counselor, Hannah, saved my life. I started repairing the broken pieces of my heart and mind. I got on much-needed medication. I received support from the wife of the family I lived with while going through my depression. For that I am eternally thankful.

Early this year I started getting a feeling I needed to clean and minimize. I definitely didn’t get as far as I wanted to before the opportunity for this apartment came up, but I was able to get rid of a lot of things. I think that strong urge to clean was a prompting from the Holy Ghost because God knew what was in store for me.

The opportunity for my current job as a Behavioral Health Technician came up. A friend from church told me that her work always needs techs, so I decided to apply. I quit my job at the copy center and started at my current place in April. Not only have I realized exactly what field I want to make my career, I also got a pay increase which has helped me get more on track with my finances and be able to afford this apartment.

I lived in that house for 10 months. But look at all the things I went through to get me ready for this apartment. In May when a girl from my church asked our Relief Society president if anyone was looking for a roommate, I overheard the conversation and let her know I would love to move into an apartment. I just needed to crunch the numbers to make sure I could afford it.

I was amazed when I realized I could be able to afford rent, utilities, and internet. Not only that, everything just felt right. Instead of constantly worrying about how I was going to be able to afford everything and still eat; instead of constant feelings of frustration; instead of anxiety and feeling frantic, I felt calm, hopeful, peaceful, excited, and clear-headed.

Everything happened so quickly and somewhat smoothly. What’s moving without a few hiccups, right? We moved in during the beginning of June and have pretty much everything set up and organized. I have to wait until October for my bedroom furniture to be shipped out from my parents’ place, but I’m not even too upset about that. I’m looking forward to the coming months where I can clean even more and get rid of more stuff.

Even when we seem like we’re going nowhere and we’re stuck in a rut, God’s plan for us is moving forward. In the moment we can’t see how God is preparing us and blessing us for the next big step in our lives. Faith is sometimes hard to have when depression and anxiety are beating down on us, swallowing us up whole, and keeping us in their clutches.

I am thankful, though, for a God who is over all and cares about us so deeply that He guides us through the crap to the beautiful. I am grateful for a God who makes us wait so we can have the best blessings possible.