One of the reasons I love General Conference so much is because of the answers, insights, and comfort we receive from our leaders. It never ceases to amaze me how the answers I receive are exactly what I need to hear.

Today I was grappling with feelings of insufficientness , I guess. A certain topic has been heavy on my mind this past semester, and I’ve talked about it a lot with my roommate [who has similar feelings] and my family.

Last month I officially entered the realm of “Mid-Twenties.” Friends from my age group started getting married about four years ago. Many of them have at least one child, and a few are even expecting their second. I’ve lost count of how many missionaries from my mission are engaged or married.

Yet I am not. I am a single, mid-twenty woman on track to graduate with her bachelor’s degree in a little over a year. In the world this is completely normal. But in the culture I’ve grown up in, it’s hard. Ever since I’ve come home from my mission I’ve felt looked down on because I’m not married or a mother.

I rejoice when I hear one of my friends is engaged, and then I rejoice again when they get married. I rejoice when someone has a baby. But always I feel, very subtly, the unspoken question of, “Well what’s wrong with you?”

The truth of the matter is there’s nothing wrong with me. An opportunity for marriage hasn’t presented itself yet. And to be quite honest, I haven’t been ready to seriously consider marriage until just recently. Even when I’d been home from my mission for eight months I wasn’t ready.

That’s the thing – everyone has their own timetable. I know we preach that a lot at church, but how many of us actually practice that? By “practicing,” I mean understanding that not everyone’s life is going to work out the way everyone else’s does and not judging someone based on the course their life has gone.

The hardest thing to endure are the comments by well-meaning people who just say the wrong words. It hurts when leaders from the mission say, “[So-and-so] got married after [so many weeks home]. What’s taking the rest of you so long?” Though they partly mean it in jest, it’s in bad taste. My timetable is different from yours, and his, and hers.

With these worries in mind, I was looking forward to the General Women’s Session tonight. I didn’t know what I would hear there, but I knew I would receive the guidance and reassurance I needed.

And boy, did it come! I was reassured again that I am doing just fine in my life.

I have a testimony of family and marriage. I understand that the role of father and mother are, essentially, the highest titles anyone can have. I honor that.

But a lot of the time I feel that people who don’t specifically hold those titles are thought less of, whether it’s intentional or not.

Carole M. Stephens said something in her talk that I’ve been feeling for months now: “Membership in God’s family is not contingent on any sort of status.”

My marital/relationship status does not define me. Single people should not be treated differently than married couples. Married couples without children should not be treated differently than married couples with children. I am more than my “relationship status.” I am a human being. I’m a Child of God. Shouldn’t that come first for everyone?

Then Bonnie L. Oscarson said something in her talk that resonated with me as well. She said that being a father and mother are the ideal. While we should strive for the ideal, we also need a plan in case that doesn’t happen. That plan, however, should help us remain covenant keeping, charitable women.

As of now, I’m following that other plan. I’m continuing my education and starting to look at work fields that interest me. I’m trying to expand my mind and better myself so that I can have a broader world view. I have goals and I’m working towards them. These goals I have expressed to the Lord. Everything I do I try very hard to incorporate the Lord. When I don’t receive a “no” to a goal, I go ahead and do it.

The world needs great mothers. We are in need of great mothers. But I think the world also needs Marie Curie’s, Sheri Dew’s, and Mother Teresa’s. Great women like these don’t diminish motherhood. There are many amazing women out there who impacted the world and are mothers. One of my personal heroes is Susan W. Tanner, of the General Presidents of the Young Women. Her talks, her example had and still have a huge impact me.

Tonight I was reminded that each of us are unique, and that’s okay. My time is different than anyone else’s. My last transfer in the field I had to go to counseling. One of the things I told my counselor was how frustrated I was because I felt like I was never measuring up to my leaders’ expectations. I tried and tried my hardest, but always fell short and I felt berated by them. My councilor read a scripture with me [I don’t remember the reference] about time and space. We then discussed that the Lord gives everyone their own time and space to grow and improve on. He told me it’s not a race. People can’t expect or demand that you improve faster than you can.

That’s when I realized how so many people do that – myself included. Ever since that counseling session, I’ve tried very hard to remember that judging people’s timelines is not okay. The Lord gave each of His children different plans for a reason. There is one great plan for everyone to get back to God – the Plan of Salvation – but each individual has his or her own plan of things to accomplish and learn here on Earth. That’s part of what makes us so different. That’s what makes life refreshing.

I am not ashamed of my life. I’m not ashamed of my goals, my testimony, or my accomplishments. I’m very thankful that we all receive personal revelation to guide us down our individual paths.

I’m thankful for a Heavenly Father who has a plan for me. Though it’s not always my plan initially, I’m thankful that He knows what’s best for me.

No matter where life takes it, it will always be fulfilling when we keep Christ at the center and follow His teachings.